Why?

Heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy, and cast out demons. Give as freely as you have received! (Matthew 10:8)

Prompted by Donna Partow's book, Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be: A 90-Day Guide to Living the Proverbs 31 Life, I decided to write a mission statement for my the remainder of my life. Here's what I wrote:

LIVE OUT LOUD Matthew 10:8.

That's why I named my blog Matthew 10:8. Writing a mission statement for your life and living it are two different things. Today, at least, I'm asking the big, age-old question: Why? Why did I do it? Why is it so hard? Why do I want to quit every other day and why can't I? I've really been challenged a lot lately. I've been confused, questioned, misunderstood, beaten down, crushed, mocked, and accused. I've been on the mountain top, in the valley, on a roller coaster, and on an adventure and thrill of a lifetime. I always come back to the question WHY? Why am I not seeing the dead raised, the lepers cleansed, demons cast out, and ALL the sick healed?

And then someone very wise gave me some counsel and perspective. If God allows me to make a difference in just ONE person's life. If He uses me to heal one ailment, cast out one demon, cure one case of leprosy, or raise one person from the dead (physically or spiritually), it will be a life well-spent. As someone who has received healing from an incurable disease, I know how important for me that ONE moment was and continues to be. It has literally changed my entire life. It is the reason I can't quit. It is the reason why I have to get up every day and give it another shot. It is the reason why I must continue to lay hands on every sick person I encounter. It is the reason why I must keep striving for the standard set by Jesus: 100% healed! It is the reason why I must strive to LIVE OUT LOUD Matthew 10:8. Freely I have received. Freely I must give. It burns in my bones (Jeremiah 20:9).